English I and English II
Constructed Response Scoring Guide
Student Assessment
In this excerpt from “Tending Roses”, Katie visits her grandmother and stumbles upon a
peculiar journal. She reads quite a beautiful entry of hers regarding fireflies. Doing so,
Katie herself has been metaphorically called to continue looking for them. But what they
are refferring to are necessairly just the little lightining bugs of the farm, rather a great
symbol of a childhood virtue. Katie has been reminded that taking a break once in a while
from work to look around one’s amazing surroundings can be really rewarding as you
soak in the relaxing beauty of it all.
From paragraph 5 to 10, Katie’s grandmother expresses her sadness of when she
missed the fireflies’ departure from her home. As the creatures left, she awakened to the
fact that she had not really appreciated nor noticed them for some time now. The quote “I
suppose they flew away one night as I lingered over mending, or soiled tableware or a
child’s lessons. They flew away while my head was bent to task and took no time to bid
good-bye,” showcases this sentiment. She was too busy with chores, family, and life in
general. Katie’s grandmother had been constantely working so much that she rushed
right past the wonders of nature around her.
As she realizes this, she recalls memories of the past when she would see all the plants
and animals by her farm. Katie’s Grandmother longs to experience this dearly once again.
And even more as she sees her own kids living the same thing as she had done so before.
The quote “I thought of how many times as a girl I stared into the faraway moon and
dreamed impossible dreams – wishing for the same treasures I heard my children ask for
when I passed their doors at night,” demonstartes this. Nostalgia is a lovely feeling with a
sense of depression and desire for what was. The natural and imaginative spirit that
young ones have allows them to oberve what adults like Katie’s grandmother simply can
or will not let themselves do. That is where she recognizes the other half of the emotion,
the part that shows what can be.
To conclude, Katie is reminded of the importance in dropping responsabilities for a quick
second and admire the world as her grandmother’s poetic journal entry entails. It is hard
to truly live life if they walk by the small unnoticed beauties that make it all up. The little
things are those that really bring joy and meaning. Children know that, and one who is
older used to as well. So now Katie has seen that she must keep on looking for those
fireflies in her life.
Organization and Development of Ideas – 3
The writer provides the clear thesis that “Katie has been reminded that taking a break once in a
while from work to look around one's amazing surroundings can be really rewarding as you
soak in the relaxing beauty of it all.” An effective introduction (“In this excerpt . . . the relaxing
beauty of it all”) and conclusion (“To conclude, . . . those fireflies in her life”) are evident. The
organizational structure effectively supports the development of the thesis as the writer begins
by informing the reader about the grandmother’s diary which leads to the grandmother’s
regrets in paragraphs two and three before reaching the conclusion. In addition, the writer
includes paragraph-to-paragraph transitions (“In this excerpt”; “From paragraph 5 to 10”; “As
she realizes this”; “To conclude”) and sentence-to-sentence transitions (“But,” “As”). Specific
and relevant quotes are chosen by the writer (“I suppose . . . They flew away while my head
was bent to task and took no time to bid good-bye"; “I thought of how many times as a girl . . .
the same treasures I heard my children ask for when I passed their doors at night”) in support
of the thesis. This evidence is also clearly explained (“She was too busy with chores, . . .
working so much that she rushed right past the wonders of nature around her”; “Nostalgia is a
lovely feeling . . . the part that shows what can be”). The expression of ideas is clear and
effective as almost all sentences are effectively crafted to convey the writer’s ideas and