Microsoft Word - Writing Pro Target 9 Study Pack.docx

| CELPIP Writing Pro: Target 9+ Study Pack

CELPIP Writing Pro: Target 9+

Study Pack

Contents Page

Preparing for the CELPIP Writing Test 2

CELPIP Writing Test Performance Standards 3

Level 9 Score Descriptors and Performance Profile 4

Task 1: Key Skills and Strategies 5

Task 2: Key Skills and Strategies 6

Using Your Time 7

Sample Response with Improvements by Dimension 8

Sample Responses with Analysis: Task 1 13

Sample Responses with Analysis: Task 2 17

Additional CELPIP Webinars 20

Connect with Us! 20

| CELPIP Writing Pro: Target 9+ Study Pack

Preparing for the CELPIP Writing Test

This package includes versions of many of the informational tables and sample responses discussed

during the Writing Pro: Target 9 webinar.

Considering the Performance Standards when practicing your writing and assessing your sample

responses will give you a sense of how CELPIP raters might assess your response, and should help you to

become aware of your strengths and weaknesses.

The Score Descriptors and Performance Profile describe the abilities of a typical Level 9 test taker with

respect to each Dimension of the Performance Standards. These are the skills you must demonstrate on

the test in order to earn a score of Level 9 or higher.

The Task 1 and Task 2 Key Skills and Strategies offer concrete ways of demonstrating your skills in

each task.

The Sample Response with Improvements by Dimension allows you to take a closer look at the Level

8 response discussed during the “mini-workshop.” Through this study you will gain insight into the

differences between typical Level 8 and Level 9 responses, and you will get a sense of the ways that a

test taker’s strengths and weaknesses in each Dimension contribute to his/her overall score.

Finally, the Study Pack includes the Task 1 and Task 2 sample responses discussed during the webinar,

and analysis of their main strengths and weaknesses.

By incorporating the above information, strategies, and insights into your writing practice, you will have

the best possible chance of achieving a Level 9 or higher on the Writing Test. Of course, doing well on

the test also requires very high fluency in English. It is important to recognize that studying the material in

this package and learning English are two different things, and building your English writing skills should

be the main focus of your preparation for the test.

Good luck!

| CELPIP Writing Pro: Target 9+ Study Pack

CELPIP Writing Test Performance Standards

Dimension

Important Factors

Guiding Questions

Content/

Coherence

• Number of ideas

• Quality of ideas

• Organization of ideas

• Examples and supporting details

How well are your ideas

organized and developed?

Vocabulary

• Word choice

• Suitable use of words and phrases

• Range of words and phrases

• Precision and accuracy

What is the range of your

vocabulary and can you use it

naturally?

Readability

• Format and paragraphing

• Connectors and transitions

• Grammar and sentence structure

• Spelling and punctuation

How easy is it to read and

understand your response?

Task

Fulfillment

• Relevance

• Completeness

• Tone

• Word count

How well did you follow the

instructions? Did you use an

appropriate tone?

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Level 9 Score Descriptors and Performance Profile

Level Descriptors are a new feature of CELPIP score reports. They include:

• Score Descriptors. For each Dimension (Content/Coherence, Vocabulary, Readability, and

Task Fulfillment), there are 1-3 statements beginning with “I can,” indicating what a typical test

taker at a particular CELPIP Level is able to do in that Dimension.

• a Performance Profile. This is a broad summary of the abilities of a typical test taker at a

particular CELPIP Level, based on the Score Descriptors.

• Things to work on. This is a list of skills that a test taker at a particular CELPIP Level may benefit

from focusing on when working to improve his/her writing.

Level 9 Score Descriptors

At this level, I can…

Content/

Coherence

Vocabulary

Readability

Task Fulfillment

When:

• write short formal

and informal texts

of some complexity

• support key ideas

with relevant facts,

descriptions,

details, or

quotations

• choose words and

phrases to provide

accurate details,

descriptions, and

comparisons

• write well-

organized

paragraphs

• write with control

of a range of

complex and

diverse

grammatical

structures

• present

information using a

tone and style that

follows some

formal and most

informal writing

conventions

• convey my

intended meaning

in writing

I write for a

defined

audience and

the situation is

formal or

informal

Level 9 Performance Profile

I can write short, organized texts in most social and more formal contexts. I have control of complex

grammar, and am developing a repertoire of precise, formal, and specialist vocabulary. I can write

longer, more demanding texts. I make occasional errors that do not impede my meaning.

Level 9 Things to work on

• Fully develop my ideas in writing

• Increase my ability to use context-specific vocabulary

• Reduce the number of grammar and vocabulary errors

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Task 1 Key Skills & Strategies

Writing Skill

Strategies

Logical organization

• Make an outline first

• Start with a purpose statement and end with a

concluding statement

• Complete the tasks in order

Solid support

• Brainstorm ideas before you start writing

• Support each main idea with at least one specific detail

• Mention real places, people, and situations to make

details more concrete and vivid

Precise vocabulary

• Use descriptive, precise, and natural language

• Avoid overusing words and phrases from the question

Accurate grammar

& clear formatting

• Use a variety of sentence types and grammatical

structures

• Start a new paragraph for each main idea

• Connect ideas with transitions

• Use capitalization and punctuation appropriately

Thorough response

• Read the whole question carefully

• Don’t change/ignore the information given in the

question

• Write at least one sentence for each task (most will

need more!)

Suitable tone

• Consider the purpose and audience of the email

• Use a greeting and sign-off that fit the situation

• Avoid rudeness, sarcasm, and casual slang

Careful proofreading

• Check your work for 3-4 minutes after you write

• Be aware of what kind of mistakes you make most often

| CELPIP Writing Pro: Target 9+ Study Pack

Task 2 Key Skills & Strategies

Writing Skill

Strategies

Logical organization

• Make an outline before you start writing

• Start with an opinion statement

• End with a concluding statement

• Create flow using meaningful transitions

Convincing support

• Brainstorm ideas before you start writing

• Support each main idea with at least one concrete

detail/example

• Mention real places, people, and situations to make

details more concrete and vivid

• Compare your choice to the other choice

Precise vocabulary

• Use descriptive vocabulary: avoid being too general or

abstract

• Avoid overusing words and phrases from the question

Accurate grammar

& clear formatting

• Use a variety of sentence types and grammatical

structures

• Avoid list/point form

• Use appropriate paragraphing

• Use capitalization and punctuation appropriately

Thorough response

• Read the whole question carefully

• State your choice at the beginning of the response

• Focus on reasons (not suggestions or descriptions)

Suitable tone

• Consider the audience: who will read the survey

response?

• Don’t write an academic essay

• Avoid rudeness, sarcasm, and casual slang

Careful proofreading

• Check your work for 3-4 minutes after you write

• Be aware of what kind of mistakes you make most often

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Using Your Time

You have 27 minutes to complete Task 1 and 26 minutes to complete Task 2. This allows you enough

time to plan and check each response.

It is strongly recommended that you spend around 4-5 minutes planning each response before you

start to write, following these steps:

1. Brainstorm for 2-3 minutes. Write notes. Use point form and don’t worry about spelling/grammar.

2. Choose your main ideas.

3. Put the ideas in order.

4. Think of supporting details.

5. Write a strong, clear purpose statement.

It is also recommended that you spend around 3 minutes checking your response after you write.

Reread your response several times to make sure you can’t see any mistakes, the ideas are organized,

and you answered the whole question.

| CELPIP Writing Pro: Target 9+ Study Pack

Sample Response with Improvements by Dimension

Question

Test taker’s response (Level 8)

!"#"$%&'($%)*(%+()*"'$(,&-(-*."/%'01(23*(."+$($3%'0($3"$(4(5"'$($&($3%'6("7&8$(53*'(4(")(&'(

9"#"$%&'(%+(5&-6(+$8,,+(&-(53"$(4(+3&8.:(:&($&(%);-&9*()<+*.,(%'()<(=&71(4$(%+($-8*($3"$(%$(5&8.:(

7*('%#*($&(+$"<("$("(7*"#3+%:*(3&$*.(,&-(>(:"<+?(78$()<(#&'#*-'(%+?(3&5()8#3(&,($3%+(3&$*.(&-($%)*(

5%..(5*(0*$($&(*'=&<@(23*($-"%'%'0(#&8.:($"6*(8+($3*(*'$%-*(:"<("':(7<($3*($%)*(5*(0*$(7"#6($&(

&8-(3&$*.(5*(5%..(7*($&&($%-*:($&(:&("'<$3%'0(*.+*($&(*'=&<(&8-+*.9*+1(23%+(5%..()*"'($3"$(5*(

7"+%#"..<(5&'A$(7*(3"9%'0("'<(-*".(B!"#"$%&'(2%)*B1(4(5&8.:($-":*($3%+(>((:"<+("$($3*(7*"#3+%:*(

3&$*.(5%$3()<(C(:"<+(9"#"$%&'($%)*($&(,8..<(*'=&<("':(-*. "/( )<+*.,("':(".+&(+;*':(+&)*(D8".%$<(

$%)*(5%$3()<(,")%.<("':(,-%*':+1(4("0-**($3"$(=&7($-"%'%'0(%+(%);&-$"'$?(78$('&$("$($3*(#&+$(&,()<(

;*-+&'".(B3*".%'0B($%)*1(E3"$(4()*"'(7<($3"$(%+?(:8-%'0()<(9"#"$%&'($%)*?(4($"6*(+&)*($%)*(&,,($&(

:&(+&)*()*:%$"$%&'("':(-*.%*,()<+*.,(&,("..($3*(+$-*++(&,(5&-6("':(.%,*1(4(7*.%*9*($3"$($3%+(3*.;+(

)*($&(-*+$&-*()<(;3<+%#".("':()*'$".(3*".$31

| CELPIP Writing Pro: Target 9+ Study Pack

1. Content/Coherence: Strengths, Weaknesses, and Solutions

Strengths

Weaknesses

Solutions

ü Many different ideas

• No clear purpose

statement

• State your purpose clearly at the

beginning of the response

ü Quality of ideas is

quite good

• Meaning of some details

is unclear

• State ideas precisely

• Use transitions to show connections

between ideas

ü Most main ideas are

supported with

details/examples

• Some disorganized

content

• Structure the response logically to

create smooth flow

• Use paragraphing

ü Not much repetition

of ideas

• No concluding statement

• End the response with a statement

that ties it together and signals

completeness

Response revised for Content/Coherence

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2. Vocabulary: Strengths, Weaknesses, and Solutions

Strengths

Weaknesses

Solutions

ü Most language is

suitable for the

situation

• Too much repetition of

some words and phrases

• Avoid overusing words and phrases

from the question

• Think of ways to paraphrase ideas

ü Good range of

words and phrases

• Word choice occasionally

lacks precision

• After writing, reread the whole

response, focusing on word choice

ü Most words and

phrases are natural

and accurate

• Some word choice could

be more concise

• Use transitions effectively

• Watch the word counter and use

words wisely

Response revised for Vocabulary

| CELPIP Writing Pro: Target 9+ Study Pack

3. Readability: Strengths, Weaknesses, and Solutions

Strengths

Weaknesses

Solutions

ü Very few errors in

spelling, punctuation,

or capitalization

• No paragraphing to

signal new main ideas

• Create an outline before beginning

to write

• Start a new paragraph for each

main idea

• Introduce each paragraph with a

clear topic sentence

ü Very few grammar

errors

• Not enough transitions to

show connections

between ideas

• Signal each new main idea with a

transition word

• Use transitions thoughtfully to

connect ideas

ü Fairly wide range of

sentence structures

Response revised for Readability

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4. Task Fulfillment: Strengths, Weaknesses, and Solutions

Strengths

Weaknesses

Solutions

ü Tone is usually

appropriate for the

situation

• The writer doesn’t choose

an option

• State a clear choice at the

beginning of the response

ü Second main idea is

relevant and on topic

• Tone is too harsh in a few

places

• Reread the completed response,

considering the situation and

audience

• First main idea is a bit off

topic

• Read the question carefully before

starting to write

Response revised for Task Fulfillment

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Response Analysis

Task 1

Question

| CELPIP Writing Pro: Target 9+ Study Pack

Response 1: Level 7

Analysis

Strengths

Weaknesses

• The purpose is clear, though it is not mentioned

until the second paragraph.

• Main ideas are supported with details

• Some precise/clear word choice (e.g., “literature

teacher,” “simple to understand,” “process of

writing,” “inspired”).

• Paragraphing and formatting make the response

easier to read.

• The writer addresses all 4 tasks.

• Some details are not precise (e.g., what grade

the students are in, what book they’ve been

reading, why exactly they enjoyed the book).

• More detail is needed for all 3 tasks, especially

the first (introducing the school and class) and

second (why the children like this writer’s books).

• Some grammar errors interfere with meaning

(e.g., “those who is interesting for everyone”).

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G<('")*(%+(I8#"+?("':(4(")("(.%$*-"$8-*($*"#3*-("$($3*(*.*)*'$"-<(+#3&&.(%'($3*(E*+$(J':1(

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.&9*:(<&8('*5('&9*.1(23*<(,&8':($3*('&9*.(+%);.*($&(8':*-+$"':("':($3&803$,8.("'($3*(+")*(

$%)*1(E*(3"9*("(.&'0(:%+#8++%&'(:8-%'0("':(",$*-(#."++*+1(

L*#"8+*(&,($3"$?(4(5&8.:(.%6*($&(%'9%$*(<&8("+("(08*+$(+;*"6*-($&(&'*(&,(&8-(#."++*+($&($*..(8+()&-*(

"7&8$(<&8('&9*.("':(;-&#*++(&,(5-%$%'01(G"<7*(<&8(#"'($*..(8+("7&8$(53&(&-(53"$(%'+;%-*:($&(

5-%$*($3%+('&9*.("':($*..(8+()&-*("7&8$(*9*-<(#3"-"#$*-1(

4($3%'6($3%+()**$%'0(5%..(7*(8+*,8.(,&-($3&+*(53&(%+(%'$*-*+$%'0(,&-(*9*-<&'*1(E*(3"9*(.%$*-"$8-*(

#."++*+(*9*-<(G&':"<("':(M-%:"<(7*$5**'(N(O(PP(")1((

Q.*"+*(.*$()*(6'&5(%,(<&8(7*("7.*($&("##*;$(&8-(%'9%$"$%&'1(

M"%$3,8..<(<&8-+?(

I8#"+(G#2*"#3*-(

( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( RPST(5&-:+U(

| CELPIP Writing Pro: Target 9+ Study Pack

Response 2: Level 12

Analysis:

Strengths

Weaknesses

• Organized response, clear purpose.

• Extremely specific and realistic details (e.g.,

“bright pink mural,” “third-graders,” “when

Edward fought the rabbit off his carrots”)

• Lots of vivid, precise language: e.g., “delirious

with laughter,” “chuckling on the floor.”

• Formatting, punctuation, and grammar make the

response easy to read and understand.

• Tone is ideal: friendly and polite.

• “Followed by some questions” and “fought the

rabbit off his carrots”: a bit awkward, though the

meaning is clear.

• “Motive” is the wrong word form: should be

“motivate.”

• The explanation of what the writer can do is a bit

vague: a 20-minute talk about what? The

invitation is also not precise: “in the coming

weeks” is a long stretch of time.

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G"%'(H$-**$?(53*-*(4(")($3*($3%-:(0-":*($*"#3*-1(Q*-3";+(<&8(3"9*('&$%#*:(&8-(7-%03$(;%'6(

)8-".(%'($3*('*%037&8-3&&:@(4$(0*$+(D8%$*($3*("$$*'$%&'(,-&)(;*&;.*(;"++%'0(7<1(

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,.&&-X((

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$&($3*)()<(;-%'#%;".("':(4(5&8.:(.%6*($&(%'9%$*(<&8("+("(08*+$(+;*"6*-($&(&8-(#."++1(E&8.:(<&8(

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$5*'$<O,%9*(#3%.:-*'?(,&..&5*:(7<(+&)*(D8*+$%&'+("$($3*(*':1(

V&8-(;-*+*'#*(5&8.:()&$%9*("':(08%:*($3*)(0-*"$.<1(23*(#3%.:-*'(5&8.:(7*(+&($3-%..*:($&(3*"-(

,-&)("'("8$3&-($3*<(6'&5("':(.&9*?("':(%$(5&8.:(7*("'(3&'&8-($&(3&+$(<&81(

(

H%'#*-*.<?((

G-+1(K;;.*7**(

( ( ( ( ( ( ( (197%words)(

| CELPIP Writing Pro: Target 9+ Study Pack

Response 3: Level 9

Analysis:

Strengths

Weaknesses

• Organized response, clear purpose. All main

ideas are supported with realistic details.

• Fairly good range of language related to the

situation (e.g., “situated,” “huge fan,” “a sense of

wonder and amazement”)

• Very few grammar and punctuation errors; none

interfere with understanding.

• Every task is addressed.

• The tone is ideal for the task.

• Some word choice is a bit awkward (“inspire

them on,” “put together the many adventures”) or

repetitive (“create” x6).

• Final sentence of the third paragraph is very

repetitive.

• Not many transition words.

• The writer doesn’t quite introduce her class. The

information given for the fourth task is a bit vague,

and the invitation is a bit imprecise.

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*.*)*'$"-<(+#3&&.(+%$8"$*:('*"-($3*(-*#-*"$%&'".(#*'$-*(#.&+*($&(]8;*-$(H$-**$("':(>S$3(

K9*'8*1(G<(+$8:*'$+("-*("(380*(,"'(&,(<&8-(7&&6+("':($3*<(5&8.:("7+&.8$*.<(.&9*(%$(%,(<&8(#&8.:(

+;"-*($3*($%)*($&(9%+%$1(

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$3*(+3<("':(.&'*.<(:-"0&'?(`"-&.:1(K$($3*(*':(&,(*9*-<(#3";$*-?($3*<(".5"<+("+6?(BE3"$A+(0&%'0(

$&(3";;*'('*/$@B1((

4'($3*('*/$($5&(5**6+?(4(;."'($&(3&.:(+$&-<(5-%$%'0(+*++%&'+1(4$(5&8.:(+%);.<(7*(")"_%'0(%,(<&8(

#"'(#&)*("':(%'+;%-*($3*)(&'(3&5($&(#-*"$*("(,"'$"+<(5&-:(&,($3*%-(&5'1(Q.*"+*($*..($3*)(3&5(

<&8(#")*($&(#-*"$*(^'%#&-'(I"':?(53"$(#&'$-%78$*:($&(<&8-(#-*"$%&'("':(3&5(<&8(;8$($&0*$3*-(

$3*()"'<(":9*'$8-*+1(

I*$()*(6'&5(<&8-($3&803$+1(

23"'6(<&8(,&-(<&8-($%)*?(

\%':(]*0"-:+?(

[*''%,*-(Z."-6(

( ( ( ( ( ( ( (196%words)(

| CELPIP Writing Pro: Target 9+ Study Pack

Task 2

Question

| CELPIP Writing Pro: Target 9+ Study Pack

Response 1: Level 10

Analysis:

Strengths

Weaknesses

• The writer chooses an option in his own words.

• Lots of precise vocabulary (e.g., “friends outside

work,” “team lead,” “overall decrease,”

“overheard”).

• Very few grammar errors; none interfere with

understanding.

• Formatting and paragraphing make the response

easy to read.

• The writer completes all of the tasks.

• The tone is formal but friendly.

• The first main idea goes a bit off topic. It is more

focused on the general idea of how much

vacation employees get than the specific question

of giving up two vacation days for the training.

• More specific detail about the training and the

location would strengthen the second main idea.

“Improving our skills” is not specific.

`%([&3'?(

4(+*#&':(<&8-(+800*+$%&'($&(-*:8#*($3*('8)7*-(9"#"$%&'+(:"<+("':(+*':(8+(,&-("($-"%'%'0(

%'+$*":1(

K,$*-($".6%'0($&()<(,-%*':+(&8$+%:*(5&-6?(4(3"9*(-*".%_*:($3"$(&8-(#&);"'<(#8--*'$.<(0%9*+()&-*(

9"#"$%&'(:"<+($3"'("'<(&$3*-(#&);"'<(%'(&8-(#%$<1(L*%'0("($*")(.*":?(4(3"9*('&$%#*:($3"$($3%+(

3"+(-*+8.$*:(%'(.&'0(;*-%&:+(&,($%)*(53*'(*);.&<**+(3"9*(7**'("7+*'$(,-&)(5&-6(.*":%'0($&("'(

&9*-"..(:*#-*"+*(%'(;-&:8#$%9%$<(&,()<(0-&8;1(H8-;-%+%'0.<?(4(3"9*(".+&(&7+*-9*:($ 3"$("7&8$(3".,(

$3*(*);.&<**+(:&('&($"6*("..($3*%-(9"#"$%&'(:"<+("'<5"<("':(%'+$*":(#3&&+*($&(#&)*($&(5&-61(

4(7*.%*9*($3"$(+*':%'0(*9*-<&'*($&0*$3*-(,&-(;"%:($-"%'%'0("$("(7*"#3+%:*(3&$*.(%+("(0-*"$(%:*"1(4(

3"9*(&9*-3*"-:(*);.&<**+(.")*'$%'0("7&8$(3&5(5*(:&('&(3"9*(*'&803(#&);"'<(*9*'$+("':(

$3%+(#&8.:(9*-<(5*..(7*($3*(;*-,*#$(+&.8$%&'1(23*($-"%'%'0(5%..('&$(&'.<(7*(7*'*,%#%".(,&-(

%);-&9%'0(&8-(+6%..+(78$(%$(5%..(".+&(;-&9%:*("'(*/#*..*'$(&;;&-$8'%$<(,&-(*);.&<**+($&(0*$($&(

6'&5(*"#3(&$3*-(7*$$*-1(

(170%words)%

| CELPIP Writing Pro: Target 9+ Study Pack

Response 2: Level 9

Analysis:

Strengths

Weaknesses

• The writer’s purpose is very clear and the

supporting ideas are well organized.

• Lots of precise/clear vocabulary: e.g., “an

extension of work,” “better-equipped,” “counted

as,” “more conducive environment.”

• Transitions and paragraphing make the ideas

easy to follow.

• The writer addresses all of the tasks.

• The tone is formal and very polite.

• Some vague ideas (e.g. “your offer on the job

training,” “which is personal time,” “the vacation

time is when I spend the days building

relationships”).

• Occasional vague/awkward/repeated

vocabulary: “vacation” repeated many times,

“see me less,” “senior.”

• Unclear wording in the first idea makes it seem as

though the writer is in favour of doing the training.

F*"-(G-1(H)%$3?(

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| CELPIP Writing Pro: Target 9+ Study Pack

Additional CELPIP Webinars

Webinar

Focus

Length

CELPIP: Get the Facts

A general overview of the features and format of the CELPIP Test

90 minutes

Listening Pro

Format, strategies, and sample questions for Listening Parts 1 – 6

2 hours

Reading Pro

Format, strategies, and sample questions for Reading Parts 1 – 4

2 hours

Writing Pro: Target 5

Achieving Level 5 or higher on the Writing Test

2 hours

Speaking Pro: Target 5

Achieving Level 5 or higher on the Speaking Test

2 hours

Speaking Pro: Target 9+

Achieving Level 9 or higher on the Speaking Test

2 lessons,

2 hours each

• Everyone at all language levels is welcome at all CELPIP webinars! The information we provide about

test format, question types, and useful strategies applies to everyone, no matter what CELPIP Level you’re

trying for.

• You can participate and ask questions to the instructor in all sessions.

• Speaking Pro and Writing Pro Target 5 sessions include sample responses in the CELPIP Level 4-5

range. Target 9 sessions include sample responses in the Level 8-12 range.

• Everyone who attends a Pro session receive a free Study Pack containing the most important content

from the webinar, including sample responses, analysis, checklists, and strategies.

• You can attend the same session more than once, but please be aware that the content will be the

same. We repeat these webinars monthly to help new test takers learn about the test!

• A recording of each webinar is posted on our YouTube channel.

Connect with Us!